“What Human Beings Can Be, They Must Be” –Abraham Maslow
Who did you set out to become in 2019? By becoming I mean what goals did you set out to reach and how did that turn out for you?
I confess, I didn’t get to all my intentioned goals in 2019, one of them being to publish my second book among others. That said, I did accomplish some daunting projects and picked beneficial ones that weren’t in my original list.
What is my point you ask?
Simply, I have learned that in life you win some and learn in the process. Others may say loose some but in my world, I find that learning about why I failed or didn’t accomplish a task always leads to invaluable lessons that I would have otherwise missed.
While in retrospection on my 2019 journey, I discovered some clues about how to best manage my expectation vis-à-vis my intrinsic motivation and of those I work with.
Abraham Maslow Hierarchy of needs proofed quite helpful in this exercise. Perhaps because for the first time I studied the ubiquitous pyramid with some reverence than ever before.
A few take away points
Self mastery
“Know thyself” has been the best piece of advice we hear from the old Socrates: Plato, Aristotle, Pythagoras to modern philosophers, coaches and mentors alike.
Abraham Maslow notes that knowing thyself is as imperative as breathing if you want to attain fulfillment or self-actualize. Maslow adds that what humans can be, they must be.
Simply put, “If you know you want to become a painter, a politician, an author or a musician then by all means paint, politic, write, sing and be what you must. However, if you keep making excuses on why this is not the right time or you tell yourself you don’t have the money or time to do it. Then you can be certain that you will never feel settled or be at peace with self until you actually do what you know you must.
When you do what you know you are meant to do, life begins to feel amazing! Suddenly, you can reach peak performance or be in flow with the least amount of effort as you begin to cultivate the right skills to create the life that you were meant to live.
Evidently, growth become the path by which you gain more confidence as you undertake new challenges and reach within on to becoming what your soul knows must become.
On the other hand, if you do not take actions towards becoming, you should not be surprised when you start to experience emotions such as anxiety, unhappy, guilty, strapped or stuck. These are signs that you’ve reached a plateau in your life, relationship or career. Simply, it means you have a choice to either grow or die!
How do you know if you are on your way to self-actualization?
Self awareness and growth are clear characteristics that you are moving towards self-actualization. Others signs include…
Peak performance
Experiencing flow is a derivative of personal growth as you seek to pursue the life you know must live. This requires courage to get off your laurels and pursue more challenging projects that demand you develop yourself.
One of my mentors remarks that, “your last success is the enemy of your greatness.” Why?Because if you get too enamored by your past success it’s easy to settle down forgetting that there’s more within you that longs to be unleashed.
Confidence
Do you want to feel more confident? If yes, the more you challenge yourself into doing things that are new to you the more you’ll become confident. So, take the jump, fly to a new place, state, country; face your fears, and experience for yourself the joy of living as your soul expands.
Note, this does not have to be anything extreme like jumping off the plane, but it has to be something that is a challenge against your abilities. My advise is that you simply follow Nike’s slogan, ‘Just do it!’ There are only two possibilities to this: you either learn or succeed.
For example, this Christmas was my first ever in the snow. Prior, I feared snow because my body tends to react strangely to cold weather. So, when a friend invited me to join in for Christmas in the snow, I said yes. What followed unconsciously is that my mind went to great length to prepare for the worst-case scenario, and as it turned out I survived with no cold. Woohaa!!!
Personal agency
Self-actualization requires a great deal of personal agency. Guided by personal values, convictions and self-direction. By challenging yourself to be the best that you can be, you in turn find a sense of freedom and control to lead your life as you choose.
After all, you are the captain of your ship and master of your fate. Consider Montaigne, a French philosopher’s remarks, “I have my own laws and my own courts to judge me, and I refer to these rather than elsewhere.” Now that is personal power!!!
Why many do not self-actualize
According to Maslow, there are growth and dark forces within each of us. The dark forces are as normal just as the growth forces are. However, the dark forces reside in each human psyche thus inhibiting growth, and only by challenging yourself to undertake new challenges can you overcome these dark forces aka silence the negative self talk.
Much like working out a muscle you and I must take whatever steps necessary to annihilate these dark forces. Otherwise we end up living in misery or sleep walking through life while we could be thriving at it!
Tying it all together
Personal growth and improvement comes often through pain and conflict. You may have heard it said, no pain, no gain! So expect to experience pain if you desire to grow and be what you must.
Although I didn’t accomplish all my goals in 2019, I learned much about myself and others. Most importantly I expanded my view on many things, gained insights and strategies for better execution, and gained a better understanding of self as I challenged myself to become what I must.
So, as you look ahead in 2020, do not fret because of your unaccomplished goals in 2019, that is the past. However, you can reposition yourself, endeavor to self mastery by first understanding and seeking clarity on what your basic needs are. Then advancing strategically from where you are to where you want to be, acknowledging that to become is to do what you must!
Caveat, often this process can be onerous, frustrating and time consuming. That said, if you feel daunted to start or realize you need help, feel free to reach out to me at Carolyne@vpfstrategies.com, I would be delighted to help, and together we can conquer our 2020 goals together!
